Fallen

She writhes in pain. The familiar gut feeling abandons her. She'd always trusted her instincts. It was almost laughable that they evaded her now with such piercing cruelty. Fallen Angel. Belief was dying. Hopes were crushed with agonizing finality. She cries out loud. Sometimes she listens to the sounds of silence.

Never is a strong word. She wonders foolishly if it is genetic?Loss. Failure. The End.

She drowns in an abyss of pessimism. There are moments of self-blame. There are slivers of self-preservation. She drowns in a whirlpool of contradictions. They tell her to sleep it off. They ask her to have hope. They want her to keep the faith. But they dont know that she is fading fast. She is a coward. She chases phantom dreams. She'll never make it. How could she not have known her own inadequacies?Should have seen this coming. Without a will to survive. Worthless as flotsam. Never did she feel so helpless.

She wishes she could kill the pain. She also knows she cant. She never has and never will. So she watched..as they dealt the final blow.