Family Ties

I have often wondered what it means to me to be away from family. I've realized that I have the most contradictory feelings towards them, as is typical of me towards most things in life. Can I say they have been a pillar of strength and source of constant support..well, certainly not always. Even so, just speaking with them is strangely comforting. Do I miss them here in London? Not particularly. Except when I'm sick and need fussing over. I understand on some level, that they are not to blame (at least not directly), for the things that have gone so irreparably wrong in my life.

I miss my Mum's concern, I like that Dad needs to check on me everyday, I adore playing big sister to Gabs and miss Miyama to death. I cry for my dog, who is in some godforsaken miserable place right now and think of him everyday. I love that I love my family despite the fact that they are the most dysfunctional unit I have ever encountered. It is one of those anchors in life that you will always be bound to. Its the only form of unconditional love I have experienced, which is of some consolation, as I often doubt my capacity to love. They are and always will be my safety net, people I will defend even if they have screwed up in the worst possible ways. It is good to know that there are a set of people in the world who I will always stand by..."just because" I would.