Painful persistence

Yesterday I was reading an article on a psychological phenomenon called "Escalated Committment", which is essentially a human being's tendency to continue following up on a failing course of action. This is particularly pronounced when he receives negative feedback on it and when he assumes personal responsibility for it. So basically, the more I tell you the situation sucks and especially if I reiterate that your own actions created this mess, the more you feel fueled somehow to prove me and especially yourself wrong.

It seemed strangely familiar. I mean, how common is it? I can think of examples from so many friends' lives. Why is it that we wish to persist in the face of failure?Could it be termed 'determination' or merely..well, 'digging your own grave'. Why must human beings be driven by this strong need to justify their actions to themselves and others? To think of the thousands of relationships and/or marriages that don't work. We often think we can dedicate our entire lifetimes to 'making things work.' Work in progress, we like to call it. And when reality bites, we continue to believe that there is indeed something we may not have tried. Hence, couples therapy, sessions and sessions of painful exploration. I'm not saying that continued effort in the face of obvious failure is necessarily a bad thing..when it actually works, you may value your accomplishment even more than you ever would have. But lets face it, more often than not, it could just end up socking you in the face.

I asked myself whether I fall into this category of dreadfully persistent "self-justifiers"(if that's even a word!). In some respects...I fit the bill completely. When I tried to explore my personal reasons for it, I drew a blank. The motivations are so complex that sometimes I cannot explain even to myself why I am doing what I am doing. Sometimes the end of the tunnel is nearer than you think but you believe you have 'miles to go' before you take that bend.

Maybe its time we(I!) realized that abandoning something/someone/or a doomed course of action, does not make us cowards or losers. Sometimes...well, at least sometimes, it is for the best. Lets just say its time we 'woke up and smelt the coffee'?