No excess baggage

I often commend myself on my great ability to detach. It comes so easily that I wonder if I was born with it. A large part of it has to do with the fact that I make almost no demands on the people around me. Well, at least not intentionally. When there are little or no expectations, the outcomes are more neutral. This helps me stay grounded. If ever there is a hint of an expectation forming, I watch myself before I hit reality. Hence...I detach.

This is not to say I am cold or stony. In fact, contradictorily so, I give off just the opposite impression. Warm and sociable in my interactions with others, one would imagine I invest a great deal in relationships. Strangely, I have learnt not to or maybe its just innate. But this protective mechanism works beautifully, in that there is no element of manipulation. Things just play out as they are destined to and I don't have to pull the strings.

Sometimes I think of attachment as just finite and limited to those rare life-long friendships or family ties, for that matter. Other kinds of attachment are temporarily comforting and the kind one can seek solace in. Or just enjoy for it's own sake I suppose. For me, the key is to keep expectations out of the equation and let things take their course. I'm not saying that it is wise to give up all control of the course of your life and leave it up to fate or the stars. This is merely an observation of my responses within relationships. It works for me and I cannot imagine behaving any differently.

Yes, it is a defense mechanism. I'm not ashamed to admit I use it.