Do you sometimes get the feeling that you are doing something for all the wrong reasons?I feel like that far too often. I then try to legitimize those reasons till they sound fairly convincing. It is especially difficult when it gets so monotonous and boring that you cannot help but wonder if there was an easy out. It is even worse when the costs involved are spiralling out of control. Most often, there isnt much you can do. I sometimes like to believe that things will change but when I'm up till 3am, trying to reason with myself, I tend to give up.
People tell me to move on. They advice, counsel, compel, persuade and sometimes force. Others silently watch and smile. But I stay on course, take it like bad medication (and anyone who knows me even a little bit will tell you how much I hate medicines). Is it worth the effort?I guess I will find out sooner or later. For the time being, I will allow this impasse to govern my life.
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