a beautiful distortion

Ever since the year 2009 crept up upon us, three friends have been joined with their partners in holy matrimony and all that! Lorena, one of my closest school friends, Carol, 'dearest of all dears' and Pria, an entertainer throughout college. Funnily, all three have been quite promiscuous throughout the time I've known them. Its strange for me to actually conceive of the fact that they took the final plunge! I mean, what could have led them to take that decision and stick by it. Was it hard for them to walk down the aisle and speak those vows out loud. Did they really mean it when they proclaimed that they would love their partners forever? Is there such a thing as forever....

I've often wondered what pushes one to take such a daunting step. How can one know with complete certainty that they are ready to spend the rest of their lives with a man and with him only. The element of risk is so startlingly clear that I cannot imagine how 91% of the world can be so risk-taking in nature. It is such a frightening thought that someone's existence can be tied to yours. The extent of dependance it can potentially foster can squeeze one out of every ounce of self-reliance. You become infinitely tied to this other person, at the risk of almost losing your own identity. (Well, you do literally lose part of your identity, unless you choose not to). It also seems to me to be such an uphill task to maintain the 'love', the spark or whatever else that is needed to keep marriages alive. Related to this
is the fear that you would inexplicably stop loving that person, or vice-versa. If there are so many little things to worry about, so many concerns that are real, is it really worth all the effort? Marriage is supposed to be a remarkably splendid journey, I cannot help but wonder if its a journey I'm ever willing to embark on.

My apologies to anyone reading this. I did not mean to speak in such a manner about an age-old institution. All I'm saying is that I am probably not cut out for it, because of my own dysfunctional nature and the dysfunctionality (if there is such a word!), that I spread around me. Sorry, my description of the fears associated with marriage are simply a beautiful distortion.