I imagine one cannot control one's feelings for someone. This is why they are so impromptu and follow so natural a course of things. Sometimes they come out of nowhere and hit you in the strangest ways possible. When they do, you end up feeling silly and helpless, sometimes even pathetic. But pathetically giggly and smiling. I assume they creep up on you so insidiously that you don't even know when it happened. You try and pinpoint that one precise moment where you started caring for that person and you amazingly cannot seem to do so. But you smile, in the pleasant knowledge that you are happy and so are they, for the most part. However ephemeral, but happy nonetheless.
With feelings come expectations. Now these are the ones to watch out for. They crawl into your head and forcibly put in thoughts you would rather avoid. They lead you to want some things that cannot be. There are longings and imaginings that you'd rather confine to the recesses of your mind. You try to rationalize with yourself, you rebuke yourself even, or try to regain focus. But the expectations have already made their way into your brain. Needless to say, you are now the perfect candidate for a steady string of disappointments. These are such inconsequential let-downs that people would laugh if they ever heard. But they take on such meaning and significance for you, that you cannot help but let them have their expected impact. But of course, you are bound to have high hopes that are invariably thrashed...but that is completely justifiable, one would suppose.
Feelings...expectations...disappointments...moments of gladness..they all form part of this cycle, that you would have done best to avoid in the first place. But once they are set in motion..well, lets just say the big wheels keep on turning!
With feelings come expectations. Now these are the ones to watch out for. They crawl into your head and forcibly put in thoughts you would rather avoid. They lead you to want some things that cannot be. There are longings and imaginings that you'd rather confine to the recesses of your mind. You try to rationalize with yourself, you rebuke yourself even, or try to regain focus. But the expectations have already made their way into your brain. Needless to say, you are now the perfect candidate for a steady string of disappointments. These are such inconsequential let-downs that people would laugh if they ever heard. But they take on such meaning and significance for you, that you cannot help but let them have their expected impact. But of course, you are bound to have high hopes that are invariably thrashed...but that is completely justifiable, one would suppose.
Feelings...expectations...disappointments...moments of gladness..they all form part of this cycle, that you would have done best to avoid in the first place. But once they are set in motion..well, lets just say the big wheels keep on turning!
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