Fool's Day

I have made it quite a habit to write my posts on the first of each month. Ironically, it is Fool's Day today. It makes me want to reflect about myself, especially how so many of you perceive me as a naive idiot. Well, maybe I am! I amaze myself at this ability to go through life like a bumbling fool. No wonder I trip on the street each day and almost get hit by cabs, no wonder I make mistakes without wanting to. It is no surprise that I have the capacity to give up everything or bestow all that I have on one idea. It isn't beyond belief that I cherish a happy memory or a wish or dare to hope against all hope that it may come true. As much as I would hate to admit it, I believe in the idea of 'someday'. If that qualifies me as a proud member in the idiot category, then so be it.

For someone whose last 2 years have been so full of pain, I suppose I draw comfort in being a dreamer. My absent-mindedness which often annoys those around me helps to give me comfort. In naivete, I seek strange solace. Hopelessly believing in certain things can be almost perfectly juxtaposed with remaining staunchly practical and realistic about other things. Yes, I come across as a confused, rather mixed up, highly contradictory person. Unfortunately, it works for me. If I then fall squarely into the fool's domain, let me learn to live with it.