Its going on, nice and easy, controllable I suppose, but spiralling out of my grasp on a few occasions. I thought I was stronger than this. I'm being made to forcibly confront every fear, each insecurity and mindless worry. There is so much sorrow, yet I laugh each day, cherishing every moment, knowing it was to end. The finality is cruelly sharp. I wish I could say nochalantly that it is the easiest thing in the world to move forward and stay on track.

Productive thinking, constructive imagery and lots of self-talk...the one who bravely said she didnt need anyone, is now at these terrible crossroads. There is no light at the end of the bleak tunnel. Yes its going to hurt, but like all things painful, this too shall pass. She will emerge stronger, knowing that everything cannot always go her way. She persuades herself to face the truth each day, fully aware that reiterating it will accustom her to the reality of it all. No of course everyone cannot behave the way you wish them to...life will not necessarily follow the expected path. But telling herself the truth each day is a fruitful exercise, reminding herself the of the futility of it all helps.